Ayn Zoya

Posts Tagged ‘Musings!’

dhoka!

In Musings! on August 31, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Thanks to the ongoing bong nostalgia phase, my kitchen saw a number of authentic bengali dishes churned out over the last few weeks :) (by the way, what is it with bengalis and food!!) I made ma’s special chanar dalna, cholar dal, begun bhaja, chicken kosha, lau mung dal.. even hunted for mustard and ways to make paste without a grinder to dish out some shorshe stuffs! Well.. my boredom and ongoing unemployement did contribute significantly to the process.. but mostly it was the bong affliction.. I believe!
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Bong connection?

In Musings! on August 25, 2009 at 11:04 pm

The “Bong” connection.. something I had fought against so strongly just few years back. Well! I had bigger purpose then.. or so I believed :) I was all into globalization and thinking beyond one’s state and country.. and having this bigger perspective and expand one’s horizon (read day-to-day talks) beyond never-ending saga of Mamata-di and Jyoti Basu or rosogolla and ilish-mach or thinking about our glorifying past which probably started and ended with Rabindranath Tagore.. okay if we really want to stretch.. maybe include Satyajit Ray and Amartya Sen into it..
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Previous Post

In Musings! on July 21, 2009 at 9:31 pm

“Everything driven by purpose can be achieved through action.”

Am I lacking purpose or action??

Maybe both?

In Musings! on July 17, 2009 at 9:52 pm

never knew.. the pain of humiliation is still so raw! even after so many years!! maybe “letting go” is the most difficult of all tasks! blocking the mind is hardly a closure!

In Musings! on July 17, 2009 at 9:12 pm

Trying out subscription from Google reader..

In Musings! on July 7, 2009 at 11:57 pm

I want to scream out loud.. and get my voice heard beyond these four walls..
I want to have my room so messy.. that it takes more than hours to clean..
I want to be stuck in a traffic jam.. forever.. and I wont complain
I will run for the bus .. at the last minute.. have my tummy sucked inside in pain.. and yet not squell..
I never realised.. never realised when all these were around.. that.. those small moments.. made me.. made my existence.. I screamed and complained.. and wanted to run away.. not knowing.. how much I would miss them..

And now.. I again want to run away from a part of my life.. the life I am living today.. a slice of it is so unbearable.. that it makes the other whole lot of goodness meaningless at times..

and maybe.. somewhere.. a teeny part of me is coming to realise.. that life is not about running away.. life can not be customised as I wish it to be.. life is about living today.. the way it is.. and not wishing the way I want it to be.. It just never happens..  It will never be “complete”..

In Musings! on June 1, 2009 at 5:50 pm

In continuation to my earlier DREAM post.. found this somewhere:

“The next time you dream about losing teeth, before trying to figure out what it means, ask yourself how the dream made you feel. Oftentimes, it is not the dream of the teeth falling out that creates the disturbance to the psyche but the feelings that accompany the dream. There is often a feeling of helplessness, of powerlessness–the teeth are coming out and there is nothing the dreamer can do to stop the process. Sometimes teeth fall out, sometimes they are simply missing, sometimes they crumble away. Whichever way they make their exit, the dreamer is left with not only a gap in her smile, but a hole in her heart when she awakens. ”

… helplessness it is! :(

In Musings! on May 8, 2009 at 6:04 pm

watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what?s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

In Musings! on April 29, 2009 at 4:12 pm

my world has shrunk to almost nothing! Seems like I just changed the queue.. of waiting for one thing.. to another!

In Musings! on April 17, 2009 at 4:05 am

http://www.counterpunch.org/goekler03242009.html

A decent post.. but these few lines from the post is really good! loved it!

“Security itself is an illusion. It is a perception that exists only between our ears. No army, insurance policy, hazmat team, video surveillance or explosive sniffer can protect us from our own immune system, a well-intentioned but clumsy surgeon, failing to look before crossing the street, an asteroid randomly hurtling through space or someone willing to die in order to do others harm.

In this sense, the only things that can truly make us more “secure” are not things. They are the courage to face whatever comes with dignity and intention, and the strong relationships that assure we will face the future together, and find comfort and meaning in doing so.